Dear loves,
Have you ever cared about someone who won’t live forever? I have too.
It’s layered, wanting them to never die, and also wanting to honor the precious days we have and the fact that death is inevitable.
It’s complicated, knowing that in the face of death, we often say just the words our loved ones have been waiting a lifetime to hear.
It’s magical, knowing they are going to a place where they are unconditionally loved, often after fighting and fighting to prevent this very moment.
How do we unravel all this?
We talk about it. We talk about it long before it will ever likely happen. We talk about it often and awkwardly. We talk about it around the table, and we talk about it in letters.
But you’re worried. You’re worried it makes you look insensitive to want to talk about it with your loved ones. Like you’re watching clocks tick, days pass. You’re worried talking about it will lead more quickly to… death.
And you’re scared. Scared of saying the wrong thing, of being insensitive or impolite. Or just very, very dark.
You’re equally scared that you’ll get to the end wanting more. More time to talk about their wishes. More time to capture their story. More time to know their passwords and where they hid their will.
Trust that this is not darkness welling up in you, but love. Love that comes from a deep acceptance of the truest life experience that we all share: we all will die.
Imagine a world where our impermanence is the fuel for purpose and connection every day. A world where we talk about the ends of our lives as much as we talk about the beginnings. A world in which those leaving and those left behind are filled with comfort, with peace.
This world exists.
It’s time to talk. With empathy. With compassion. With love, my loves.
There’s a way that isn’t morbid or depressing, one that doesn’t need to wait until we’re on death’s doorstep.
How many times have you wanted to talk about dying, and didn’t? How many times have you been witness to someone’s death and quickly regretted that you had never spoken with them about it? How often do you wish you could talk about your own aging with your family, and with your friends, but don’t… because you don’t know how. Or because they aren’t ready to listen.
Today we won’t succumb to worry and fear. We won’t be held back by awkwardness. We’ll heal your own stories, and likely the stories of those who love us. We’ll release any stigma. We’ll connect with our hearts and lead from there. We’ll show them a beautiful way.
How much more deeply can we love when we stop avoiding and fighting, and accept our time here is time-bound? How intentionally might we live each day?
Loves, it’s time to talk about death so that we can more fully live.
with great love for your life,
kristin
p.s. If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 (para ayuda en español, llame al 988). The Lifeline provides 24-hour, confidential support to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. Call 911 in life-threatening situations.